It’s NaNoWriMo. The goal is 50k words by the end of the month. And I’ve written about 1700 (give or take, I’m estimating my longhand words). All those words have been difficult, as writing has been for the last couple of months. I can’t get in the flow.
For my NaNoWriMo novel last year, I didn’t plan. I didn’t outline. I just went with the flow and went wherever my imagination took me. I created an outline for the second draft and stalled halfway through it. I was thinking so hard about my character’s motivation, how all of the pieces fit together, instead of trusting my outline and being willing to go back and edit later.
I’m an impatient person. I want to get the draft done, get it done now, and get it perfect on the first rewrite. I realize this is completely unreasonable, but in the battle with my mind, I lost and stopped writing.
I’ve outlined my novel for NaNoWriMo this year so I can hopefully end up with a better product, but each word I put down is so laborious. I’m constantly referencing my index cards and my notes, which disrupts my flow. It doesn’t give me the ability to sink into what I’m doing, and I’m paralyzed.
I know my story. I know how I want it to go. At this point I think I need to just put the index cards and the notes away and just let go. Write as my hand leads me and trust that I know my story and know that I have to be willing to let it change and grow as I write. Nothing turns out the way we plan.
Image Credit: Jeremy Bishop